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Pokemon : Team Overbite

June 17th, 2015, 8:13 pm

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Author's Comments:

Reply Ultimate Yoshi, June 17th, 2015, 8:13 pm

Read Pokemon : Team Overbite here:

As per usual, if more elaboration on any of these points is desired/required, feel free to ask in the comments.

Next up: more Maverick Daze.

Reply Advertisement, May 24th, 2018, 8:23 pm

User's Comments:

Reply ForestFire, June 17th, 2015, 8:21 pm

Pfft, that last screen shot tho

Reply littaly, June 17th, 2015, 11:57 pm

damn, that's... a lot lower than I expected, I'm honestly disappointed I guess? oh well. I don't blame you, there's potholes I need to go back and fix (like the one with the pikachu behind a tree- I plan on revisiting those pages). when i started the comic I had no idea where I was going, and most of the characters in it aren't even mine... so that's kind of a problem I need to work with (like the blue charmander- she's not mine but belongs to a friend)

I've been telling myself to go back and redo pages but as a full-time student I have -10 hours of time to do that, so I'm just kind of living with it until I can explain them in future pages.

Thanks for the review


One thing I do suggest is, maybe for future reviews, could you use words other than "bad" and "horrible"? It's kind of a downer, no offense to you, just something to think about if you want uwu

Reply Ultimate Yoshi, June 18th, 2015, 12:52 am

@littaly: It may be a downer, but in a way, the more striking a criticism is, the more it's likely to be taken into consideration. Toning it down would lessen the weight of needing to change things, I feel.

On the other hand, thinking about it, it is very true that using too strongly negative words could have the effect of demotivation rather than invigoration, and that's definitely why I added in lines about how I did enjoy things and liked its ideas, to lessen that effect. But I can see where you're coming from, and probably the best thing to do is cut back on words that are as strong as that.

Hopefully the underlying message and effect it has won't change from the tonal difference, but the last thing I want to do is discourage comic-makers.

Anyways, the main reason the rating was that low was because plot is weighed fairly heavily in my reviews. It's not an exact science, there's no real rubric or anything, but review scores are generally based on a combination of five things: Visuals (style, consistency, grammar), Characters (personality, depth, design), Plot (concept, execution, storytelling), Conveyance (transitions, exposition, worldbuilding), and Tone (comedy, mood, etc.) Because of how strongly I felt about the plot and especially the conveyance issues, with minor issues in tone and characters, the only thing that really helped the comic out was its quite frankly very good visuals. But really, honestly, the rating isn't really intended for author purposes, that's more for readers to look at and compare. Pay more attention to the specific criticisms than an admittedly somewhat arbitrary number.

Also, if it helps, in your other Team Overbite comic, the one with the Eevee, you're five pages in and you've already done a better job with conveyance, so you've without a doubt improved since 2012. I know the feeling of having to work around inexperienced writing decisions when you've gained experience later on, but with how confusing a lot of pages are in the first two-thirds of this Team Overbite, I do think it would only be beneficial to at least provide a recap page, if nothing else.

Reply littaly, June 18th, 2015, 8:11 am

There's a difference between constructive criticism and just saying something is bad or awful, though

And by recap page you mean?

Reply Ultimate Yoshi, June 18th, 2015, 11:40 am

@littaly: By a recap page, I mean a page that briefly explains the contents of previous chapters in a short and concise manner. Basically, a page dedicated to explaining what's happened in the comic so far.

Reply kwane, June 18th, 2015, 11:56 am

@littaly: There really isn't though. The only necessity of constructive criticism is that it's helpful in some way and tells you exactly what you need to do to improve.

Reply littaly, June 18th, 2015, 12:02 pm

@kwane: yes, there is a difference. A big one

Reply TheGreenShyGuy, June 18th, 2015, 2:42 pm

I have my webcomic that you COULD review, but it's on purposely bad, made on microsoft paint, and is full of stupid memes. I don't even know how you would rate it.

Reply Therater2, June 18th, 2015, 3:30 pm

Props for really good art, littaly!

Reply ForestFire, June 19th, 2015, 12:33 pm

@TheGreenShyGuy: I think he wouldn't want to. In the review of DEMON AND SONIC HAVE A GOOD AVENTURE he said that this wasn't the place for jokes, and it's for serious reviews. Seeing as you know that comic is bad and make it that way on purpose, he's definitely not the person to review it.

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